Starting a garden

[Warren]

So, Doughnut...I would like to start a vegetable garden. I need some tips on what to do.

1) What tools/equipment do I need?
2) What vegetables can I plant in May/June. Do I need to buy the plant or can I buy seeds?
3) What will it take to get you naked in my garden?

[Belligerent Bob]

So, Doughnut...I would like to start a vegetable garden. I need some tips on what to do.

1) What tools/equipment do I need?
2) What vegetables can I plant in May/June. Do I need to buy the plant or can I buy seeds?
3) What will it take to get you naked in my garden?

The fabled Doughnut rain dance....

[Doughnut]

So, Doughnut...I would like to start a vegetable garden. I need some tips on what to do.

1) What tools/equipment do I need?
2) What vegetables can I plant in May/June. Do I need to buy the plant or can I buy seeds?
3) What will it take to get you naked in my garden?

1) It depends how many plants you want. You can buy a simple shovel and dig the top layer up with the grass in it. You can also rent or buy a tiller which will churn up the ground, thus removing the grass and saving you from all the work of digging. It just depends on how much work and money you are interested in putting in. You do need a hand shovel or trowel and a hand tiller. The trowel is for digging the hole where you plant the item and the tiller for moving earth and helping with weeding. You'll also need a hose with an attachment on the end which lets you manage the stream of water. You don't want to blast your plants with a strong stream of water.

You can also consider some fertilizer (not poop unless you really want to)

2) You can plant almost anything in May or June. You can start beans, carrot, corn, garlic, peas, pumpkin, and squash from seed. It's recommended to use seedlings (already growing plants) for eggplant, pepper, and tomato. You can go either way cucumber, cantaloupe, zucchini, and watermelon. I got this information from a sheet produced by Valley View Farms up in Timonium. They list many more veggies (like lettuce, radish, etc...), but I only put down the most common things.

3) Free beer and the public (without laughing) acknowledgement that I am a superior male specimen.

Remember, that some things like pumpkin, watermelon, zucchini, etc... vine out a lot so it takes a lot of room. Even tomato plants need 2-3 feet between them and another plant. I make a spreadsheet and plot out the placement of my plants beforehand.

I also buy several flowers and a packet of flower seeds. A lot of books recommend certain flowers either because they discourage some bugs and animals or b/c they attract good insects. The list of good flowers is 20+ long but common are marigold, nasturtium, and I think yarrow. I buy a few actual plants and then scatter the seeds along the border. They come up sometime in June or July.

[Warren]

Thank you. I'll start with the valuable information contained in your post.

Now, what are you wearing?

[Doughnut]

Right now? A streimel and underpants.

I go to a number of websites and do a lot of random searching on the web, but this is my go-to website for concise, yet fairly comprehensive info on a large selection of vegetables.

http://urbanext.illinois.edu/veggies/directory.html

[Warren]

Did you have your soil tested?

[Zek]

So, Doughnut...I would like to start a vegetable garden. I need some tips on what to do.

1) What tools/equipment do I need?
2) What vegetables can I plant in May/June. Do I need to buy the plant or can I buy seeds?
3) What will it take to get you naked in my garden?

you are doughnut's new best friend

[Warren]

you are doughnut's new best friend

Only because I grew a beard and took lap dancing lessons.

[Doughnut]

Did you have your soil tested?

No. I think it is not necessary in our area. Unless you have very different soil than the rest of the area, suspect some sort of toxic substance was let into the soil, or live on an Indian burial (ghosts will eat the food), then the soil in our part of MD is just right for most things.

Only because I grew a beard and took lap dancing lessons.

Good grief.

[Belligerent Bob]

So Doughnut, I assume you are going to once again have a huge garden this summer. I am sure you have all sorts of elaborate plans. I think you need to start considering investors. That way you can afford your fancy whatevers, and the investors can receive a percentage of the yield. What do you think? (My coworkers were talking about gardening, and I thought this was a decent idea.) Then you can create your own compost heap and other things to improve your fancy shmancy garden...

[Doughnut]

Don't think it didn't cross my mind (e.g. pay a per/month fee per/plant that I agree to maintain). But, given the relatively small size of my garden it is not feasible at this time. I do have big plans, but nothing solid yet. I'm going to wait a few weeks to really start getting my plans together (draw a planting grid, re-read my books and resource websites, etc...).

[Warren]

Just when the tomatoes start to turn red, the damn deer come through my yard and ravage the garden.

[Doughnut]

There are sprays and netting for that at Home Depot. You should gardening books b/c they talk about preventing this.

[Warren]

There are sprays and netting for that at Home Depot. You should gardening books b/c they talk about preventing this.

Can you give me a synopsis.

[Doughnut]

There are sprays and netting for that at Home Depot. You should gardening books b/c they talk about preventing this.

Can you give me a synopsis.

Not really. I don't have that problem. I can guess that, ahem, barrier methods would be most effective.

[Warren]

Not really. I don't have that problem. I can guess that, ahem, barrier methods would be most effective.

You're useless. Yes, I know that ahem, barrier methods are the most effective. We have a 24" fence, but obviously that's not high enough. I would really prefer to not go out and spend more money on a 4ft fence.

[Warren]

They have some interesting suggestions here:

http://lifehacker.com/5583176/draft-kee ... -chemicals